Dating a workaholic male
Dating a workaholic male
Control those passions There is a strange mental phenomenon that can overpower even the most serious-minded and conscientious employee when they embark on an affair with a colleague, and that is that they suffer a barely controllable urge to get down to having sex at work. Desktops inspire the ultimate fantasy as business accoutrements are knocked to the floor with one fell swoop of a worsted-clad arm (difficult with all the PC equipment, I know - all those leads and plugs and mouse-mats), buns are unpinned, spectacles torn off, plus all that ice-cold laminated chipboard stretching out beneath you with just the odd unseen paperclip or stapler to mar the magic of the moment.
Better still, you'll be seeing them during the day, rather than just propping up a bar with them in the evening. Work together during the day, pop out for a quick drink after work, Bob's your uncle. Everything is in order, from stress-busting massage at the desk to on-site counselling, so why not pick a mate there too? Hinting that you would like to take things further but never being specific can make the whole relationship uncomfortable, especially if it's a boss/employee situation.
Purely social, no work to be discussed." If you don't like that, then write your own script, but make sure it's something along those lines.
Breaking-up without tears: If you find this person is not the man/woman of your dreams it would be cruel to keep things going beyond the first date.
This isn't talking killjoy, this is just being practical.
Do what you want on the social scene, but in business do not be too eager.
Be light in tone but clear about your intentions (not all of them, of course).
Allow them to see that you want to put the relationship on a social footing, thereby also allowing the courtesy of letting them turn you down too. Take no to mean no and never cajole, push or ask for an explanation. Plan a semi-jokey line that will immediately alleviate the atmosphere between the two of you and restore normal working relations.
Simple is best, as it avoids too much blush inducing-babble.
So how about "that's okay, no hard feelings", or "wise girl/chap"(whatever), or "no, you're right.
You know you will have at least one thing in common, as well as an informed ear to bounce all your troubles off when you get home in the evening; 2.
You will probably have had the opportunity to study this person quite closely before starting to date them. What do you expect the company will think about a romance between you?
This system obviously has advantages over night-time pick-ups in darkened clubs, holiday romances, (notoriously short-lived), or blind dates arranged by friends. High-powered City workers of the Nineties are accustomed to using the office as a complete life- support system. Making a pass is a dangerous manoeuvre in the workplace. Trying to blur the lines between business and pleasure will appear sleazy.